


You are the Treasure Buried Under the Sea

by underscoredom



Category: Casino Royale (2006), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Vesper feels, or rather James' Vesper feels, past relationship, sort of prelude to Skyfall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-13
Updated: 2012-12-13
Packaged: 2017-11-21 01:21:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/591831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underscoredom/pseuds/underscoredom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She is a constant, death cannot shake her away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You are the Treasure Buried Under the Sea

He still sees her, how can he not?

Behind closed eyelids, in the deepest burrows of his dreams, he is always pushing against wave after wave of water, a light blue sky, sinking first into an electric sort of blue then into a darker shade, oh so very dark. The hue shifts even though it doesn't feel like he is moving in any direction. He swims underneath ship rudders, past collapsing buildings and underwater cities where he peeks in windows. Past velvet curtains, he spies a softly lit room with a poker table and people moving around.

Sometimes he surfaces and finds himself on a beach. It does not matter whether he recognizes the beach or not. His skin is wet and coated with sand, the sun doing a fine job tanning his skin. When he looks to his side, she is there. Equally wet, her pale skin a contrast to the tacky orange-and-purple blanket they've managed to procure. She is stretched out and smiling at him. He smiles back, leans over and plants a soft kiss on her forehead. She closes her eyes, her eyeslashes brushing against his cheek, her sigh an intimate sound meant for his ears alone.

Sometimes he surfaces on a beach and it does not matter whether he recognizes it or not. Everything feels the same except for when he turns to his side. She is still there, still wet, still pale but her eyes are opened wide, staring past him, past the sky. Her mouth is open equally wide, in fright, in mid-shout. She does not move, does not change, not even when he shakes her.

Sometimes he surfaces in an abandoned building. When he steps into a room (any room), he finds himself a part of a poker tournament, but his competitors are not paying him any attention. Instead, their eyes are turned towards his date, who is walking away, her dress framing her perfectly. He knows this because he is distracted for the same reason. But isn't he luckier than any of them because it is only he who has the added detail of the smell of her perfume, lingering on his shoulders like a firm grip of good luck, on his neck like a kiss.

Sometimes he doesn't surface and he is faced with a locked elevator cage and he opens his mouth to scream.

Sometimes--

The phone rings and he surfaces, already rolling off the bed and grunting at Tanner's instructions.

*

He throws himself into missions, pausing long enough to satisfy the psych evals and the physical therapy, and to shower off the grime and the feel of another woman's (sometimes women) fingers along his body.

Reckless. Foolish and arrogant to the point of becoming unconcerned for his own life. M is unafraid to cut him to pieces for anything he does to fuck up whatever he is meant to be doing. He is secretly pleased during these moments, when she directs her sharp tongue and steely glare at him. In these moments, he is merely another field agent, possibly the worst she's promoted to double oh status.

"For God's sake, these people are not Vesper," she clips at him when he has shot one too many people.

"And neither should you punish yourself for what happened." whenever he has inched far too close to death.

"And who do you trust now?" she'll ask when they are alone and it's a stupid question, they both know it. He gives her an answer and they pretend it's the correct one and leave it at that.

*

He is fine, he is fine, he wants to snap at M sometimes. He has swallowed his past, what's another set of memories to shove away? So he swallows the past, swallows Montenegro, swallows the feel of trembling shoulders pressed against him, of him turning off the shower. He wakes up with a gasp and swallows the bile that threatens to come up from holding his breathe underwater for too long.

(Some nights, he wakes up with the feel of Mathis' weight in his arms and he swallows the guilt that follows that as well.)

*

(He is stripped bare and everything is spilling out. His armor has sunk, trapped inside an elevator cage.)

*

Recommended for suspension, the files from Medical says for the second time, and that itself is a cause of alarm. He knows this only because M reads it out loud to him. She looks at him critically; it makes him want to squirm from where he is standing.

"What am I going to do with you, Bond?" she asks. He aims a smile at her, tries to pass off as charming, and not desperate.

"For starters, you could hand me that file stamped top secret and start my briefing."

He gets suspended for an indefinite period of time.

*

Now that he has no choice but to pause, he sees her. He sees her in snippets; passing glances and double takes. She is the brunette in the pantsuit crossing the street, her back turned on him. Hers is the shade of lipstick on the cup left on the table he occupies in the cafe. Despite shaking his head, it is her laugh he hears coming from the lips of the woman seated two seats away.

During his next psych eval, he gives them the necessary text book answers. Technically, he's lying, and therefore Medical shouldn't (didn't) clear him. But there is a mission in Istanbul and M sends him off anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> so Skyfall led me to watching Craig's other Bond films & I am absolutely in love with Casino Royale. I just have a lot of feelings for this ship, honestly. If it feels incomplete, I take blame for that. My muse ran away before I could complete it. Might continue, but no promises as I have scenes in my head but no words to write them down. Yana, thank you for sharing me your JamesVesper feels.


End file.
